


A Shell Of a Memory

by Kamidani



Series: I'll Take My Time, Coming Home To You [6]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, I mean. same, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, Roxas cares about Sora, Roxas just wants his Other back, i don't blame him honestly, roxas still doesn't like riku, xion is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 02:44:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18437390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamidani/pseuds/Kamidani
Summary: Roxas's relationship with his Other was... complicated. But in the end, Sora was the one who had given him his life back, and he wanted nothing more than to thank him for that. He thought that he would have a chance, once Xehanort was gone and the worlds were safe. He thought Sora would be right back.He'd never regret letting someone walk away more.





	A Shell Of a Memory

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason Roxas has really been on my brain lately. I'm not complaining, though! Sora may own my heart but Roxas is a close second. Anyways, this is a kind of prequel thing to Sandcastle Kingdoms, and I wrote it with the events of that story in mind. And while it does have references to other works in this series, it can also just be a standalone thing. So, please enjoy this little tidbit that just wouldn't leave my brain until I wrote it.

When the world is ending, you call in the best backup you've got. Roxas didn't necessarily feel that he fit that description, but with the look Sora gave him, the way he said his name when he crashed into that dusty Graveyard, he could almost believe it. And with both Sora  _and_  Xion at his sides, he felt utterly invincible. Not even Saïx could withstand his rage, or the absolute euphoria of  _finally_  being himself again. He had thought that fighting alongside Sora would be difficult; there was a learning curve to trying to fight without getting in each other's way. But no, they were absolutely seamless. Wherever Roxas was, Sora and Xion gave him space to move and swing his Keyblades, whenever he stepped back one of them was there to fill the gap. It was like they'd fought side by side for their whole lives, and there was no feeling that could quite compare.

Well, finally seeing Lea and Xion again definitely had to take the cake. But seeing Sora face to face for the first time was at least like, top 5.

Of course, Roxas hardly realized that Sora was leaving before he had already run off, which erased any chance of, like, a thank you, maybe a firm handshake- oh, who was he kidding. Sora had thrown himself headlong at every challenge for just the inkling of a chance he would find a way to bring him back. He wanted to give his Other a real  _hug_ , dammit. Especially after seeing the look of pure heartbreak on his face after that bastard Xemnas took Kairi.

It was incredible, really, how in the scant year and some of his existence, his attitude towards his Other had done a complete U-turn. First he'd had no idea who he was, and when he did find out, he hated him. And then, being forced into that simulation, seeing Sora in the pod and knowing that he had no choice... that hate had festered. So imagine his surprise, sitting shotgun in Sora's heart, watching him interact with all of his old acquaintances, and he'd been so… genuine. So endearingly himself, in everything he did. Realizing that Sora had no memory of anything had helped, but the moment he realized all of his ill will had drained away? It had shocked him enough to wake up Sora one night. The poor kid had shot up in bed, a half formed sentence on his lips, before halting in confusion. And Roxas had whispered "sorry, go back to sleep", and Sora had whispered "okay," and passed out again.

He'd never managed to make that level of contact again until after reaching The World That Never Was. But then it didn't matter, because Sora beat him, despite his best efforts. (He hadn't wanted to fight him, he'd wanted to fight the cruel fate that Axel had met, but he couldn't do that, so he dragged Sora down and attacked him instead. And Sora, confused and with no idea of what was happening, had done what the past year of fighting had trained him to do. Roxas hadn't been expecting to lose. He'd expected Sora to win with such dignity even less so. After that, he was almost okay with being part of his Other. He could almost convince himself that he could make peace.) And then that cheating asshole Riku showed up, wearing the face of some random guy named Ansem that made Sora's blood boil with rage until he saw who was waiting behind that face. And Sora had wept for him, and Roxas understood a little bit more.

He didn't forgive Riku, not at all. But he understood. And he quietly applauded his dedication in protecting Sora, even if he'd never admit it. And then he'd spent the next couple of hours on the edge of his metaphorical seat as Sora took all the power he had amassed since waking up in that pod and went on a rampage. Xigbar, Luxord, Saïx, they all fell to Sora's seeking Keyblades. And if Sora felt a little more rage in those moments, watching them fade, then Roxas was perfectly willing to accept the blame. For all of DiZ's awful actions, he had been right about one thing: Sora was way too nice for his own good.

Watching Sora fight Xemnas had hurt. Keeping himself from trying to intervene had hurt, trying not to let Sora feel the deep, almost feral need to fight  _hurt_. Xemnas had given him a name and a home, only to rip it all away for the sake of his Kingdom Hearts. He'd lost Axel, he'd lost the chance at a normal life, all because of who he had come from, and sitting by and watching while Sora did all of the work had killed him a little bit inside. After all had been said and done, and Sora and Riku were safely on the shores of the Islands with Kairi (and Namine, though Roxas was pretty sure he was the only one who saw her peeking out through Kairi's eyes) he had thought that would be the most painful experience he would ever have to witness.

He was wrong.

Pain was watching Sora read that letter, and realize that the fight wasn't even close to over. Pain was seeing him struggle through an Exam with little to no instruction and the Organization breathing down his back. Pain was giving Sora his own tearstained memories, because it was all he could think to do to try and ward Sora off the path he was being dragged down. Pain was almost losing him to Xehanort, and seeing his own lost best friend jump in to save him. Pain was feeling the lance go through Sora's heart when he was told that he had failed for something that was no fault of his own. Pain was feeling him push that shame, that feeling of worthlessness aside so he could congratulate Riku on his success. Pain was watching him throw himself right back into the fray, weak and fragile from Xehanort's meddling. Pain was watching him insist that he had to go on alone, to save the girl who had been the catalyst to his whole journey as a hero.

Pain was watching him fade, his last moments in life spent reassuring the girl he cared so deeply about that he was happier this way. Pain was living a life without him in it.

It was Xion that reminded him of their old tradition. It seemed these days that most of his good ideas came from her. Sending his daily message had become the part of the day that Roxas looked forward to the most, and based on the way she smiled at him as he closed the door to say his piece, she was well aware of it. She was wise in ways he didn't understand. He considered himself lucky she wasn't mean spirited enough to hold that over his head. Lord knows it had taken her quite some time to warm up to Isa, despite Lea's assurances. But she retained that calm grace in everything she did, so when he found her silently collecting shells on the beach, he joined her without a word, knowing she would explain when she was ready. And she did.

"Do you remember, back in the castle? When you fell asleep, I left you a shell for every day. And then you did the same for me." A shell, discovered, then quickly discarded. "We're starting a bit late, but… I think we should continue the tradition for Sora. He's the reason we loved the beach so much anyways." She picked up another shell, examined it for imperfections. It passed whatever test she was conducting, and went into the pail with a handful of other shells. Wordlessly, Roxas passed her another one, which she dutifully examined. She handed it back with a single shake of her head. He dropped it, moved on to look for more.

"And what if we never stop collecting shells?" Roxas asked carefully, hands on his knees as he searched the sand for signs of anything buried underneath.

"Well, then we'll just have to get creative in how we store them," was her quiet response. Roxas nodded with a soft sigh. The words they didn't dare say hung over them like storm clouds on the horizon. A shell for every day was a promise, that they would keep collecting until Sora got back. And if he never did…

"He'll come back," Roxas promised quietly. Who exactly he was making that promise to, he wasn't even sure. But he meant it, with every fiber of his being. Sora  _had_  to come back. He just had to. And he would collect a shell for every day of his life that Sora wasn't in. "And we'll be waiting for him."

He had thought that the waiting would be the most painful part. He was wrong.

The most painful part was getting Sora back, and looking into the eyes of a boy who had forgotten him entirely.

**Author's Note:**

> :) see you in Chapter 2 of Sandcastle Kingdoms


End file.
